16 going on 25 going on 16

When I was 16, I had major plans for my future. I wanted to change the world. Get married. Travel. And look absolutely gorgeous while doing all of it.

I'm 25 now, soon to turn 26. And I have not been able to do anything.

I haven't changed the world yet. Haven't gotten married (far from it actually!). Barely travelled. And I am still struggling with the 'absolutely gorgeous' bit.

I quit my job a week back. It had to be done. I'm happy about it. But at 25, I thought I would have found myself a job that I love, not a job which I felt compelled to leave.

Its difficult being 25. I am no longer young enough to discover myself, but not old enough to have discovered myself.

Marriage is a WHOLE different ball game! What with the serious lack of men (men in general..I'm not even talking about the eligible ones here!) in my life and my very non-existent social life...the future is quite bleak.

The gorgeous bit, I have sort of given up on. I have been trying to loose weight and look 'a certain way' for over 10 years. And I am tired. I tiring to be on a diet, to wake up at insane hours in the morning to exercise, to skip on that piece of cake. I wish I could say that I am through with it all. Unfortunately, I know that I will be getting up tomorrow morning to exercise and I also know that I will be getting on that dreadful weighing scale and go under a mild depression for the rest of the day, just like I do (and have been doing) for so long now.

I wonder of men have all these really weird problems too. Ok, maybe the work bit cuts across sex. But marriage? I don't know too many men who have people telling them to get married because they have turned 25, or who are worried that they have turned 25 and yet have no even remote marriage prospects around them.

I'm soon (a few months now!) going to do my masters. I have been having dreams about how it's going to be. Going abroad, living in a beautiful city, travelling around, meeting a nice guy, getting a masters degree and finding the perfect job which involves more travelling. At times, I feel like I am 16 again, looking at my future, planning it, and naive enough to believe it will all come true. But I am 25, and unfortunately, not as naive, so I am also preparing myself for it all to come crashing down.